Blog: MSH (07/20/22) | Dyersburg Official Journal

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In my mind today, I’m so sad. My sweet husband (MSH as my daughter says for short) left for heaven on July 2, 2022. I cry and then I laugh and cry again. Watching someone you love disappear before your eyes is so hard. I don’t have a corner in the market though. It is indeed a tale as old as time. I am so blessed for the 33 years we have spent together. We shared such a special kind of love.

Students, I want to share a little about MSH. Our kids were like, “Oh no, mom is still talking about my adorable husband!” (Abbey Editor’s Note: That’s exactly what I just did.) 33 years ago, I married the sweetest man ever. When we decided to get married, I was 20 and he was 34. He told me that first I had to accept that he died. I told him I understood and that he was the kind of man I wanted: a good father. You see, after coming home from college after quitting basketball and a full scholarship to Memphis University or Memphis State, I was floundering. I took a job at a daycare. That’s where I met Nicholas, Ken’s son.

Nick and I got along well. He was the worst topper of all time. I, Miss Sarah, had to rub her back to try and put her to sleep. Siesta time was serious and I had to save a lot of restless nappers; but Nick was a great traveler! I always noticed that Nick’s dad would come and he was so happy. I could tell his father was a hard worker. He came with a bright blue, white polymer coated helmet from a local factory. The way he ran towards Ken melted my heart. I thought, “This is the kind of man I want to be the father of my children.” Well, then he started coming in all cleaned up. Nick told me his parents were divorced. I also noticed “no ringtone”. We were definitely zinging on each other, so when opportunity and luck collided, we took it. Nick had fallen on a block and needed stitches. Ken wanted me to go help him. I still remember the day. The helmet matched his blue truck (and his eyes, but we won’t go into details!). He had some Memphis State stuff in the cab. We talked about the Tigers and he asked me to come watch the game with them. That was it. No other man would ever be in my heart again. He popped in a tape of REM and we headed to the hospital. Recently he told the kids he knew I had a rock ‘n’ roll heart from that first ride in his blue van because I knew all the words to “It’s the end of the world as we know” from REM. I miss my sweet husband. MSH!

I had accepted a scholarship offer to play basketball in the fall at Lambeth University but didn’t go. Instead, Ken and I went to the Crockett County Courthouse and got our marriage license. I still remember the questions: Name, birthday, social number, and have you ever been married before? I breathed through the questions. And then it was his turn. “Have you ever been married before?” asks the clerk. Ken replied, “Yes.” “How many times?” asks the clerk. “3 times.” replied Ken. My eyes widened and I felt like my ears were deceiving me. I said, “What? I only know 2.” We then went into the hallway and talked about it. I was shaken but I was madly in love. We didn’t get married immediately after that, but waited until I got over the shock of another life/woman to deal with, because two was hard enough.

In November 1989, we descended the cliff to the bottom of Bogota and we got married. Mr. Don Childress, county commissioner, put his pigs in his pigsty. His sweet, brave, beautiful wife said, “Get out of this paddock and clean up. I want you to take the Bible and speak good words and not just get married.” Ken’s daughter Andi and her best friend David Jones stood up for us. We went to Pizza Hut for supper then home.

The next morning I called my mom and told her I was married. She said I didn’t think you were really going to get married. She was very upset. She said she wanted me to have a beautiful marriage. She said over and over that she just wanted more for me. My father, on the other hand, told him to let go. He said Rachel, he’s a good man; he will take care of our daughter. He did, he still does, and he will always take care of their daughter. That’s how this crazy love started. I thank God for this love because love lasts everything. Students, I hope one day you will be blessed with a love like ours. RIPMSH

Quotes of the day:

alleyisms

Ken aka Papa Smurf by Clarissa Haymon, Papa Razzi by Ab, me and Lady Gaga, Rop by Ab

In the memorial video, look for strange images. He liked to take and search for strange photos. He also loved taking pictures of old abandoned businesses in Memphis.

Birthdays were his favorite (although he always joked that they were canceled, along with Christmas, every year). He filmed almost every birthday.

He loved loved music. His collection of music is staggering. He loved discovering new bands and home-tapes. Book of Kills, R. Stevie Moore, Barty Aum, etc.

He was a Trivia master of music and band history as well as sports statistics. I’ve never heard him misspell a word or not know how to spell a word. Thank you to the nuns of Our Lady of Sorrows School in Memphis Tennessee.

Another one of our songs. 🙂

What I feel, I can’t say

But my love is there for you any time of the day

But if it ain’t love you need

So I’ll do my best to make it all work out

Tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

What I know I can do

If I give my love now to everyone like you

But if it ain’t love you need

So I’ll do my best to make it all work out

Tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

Tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

What I feel, I can’t say

But my love is there for you any time of the day

But if it ain’t love you need

So I’ll do my best to make it all work out

Tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

Oh, tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

What’s my life without your love?

Tell me, who am I without you by my side?

Oh, tell me, what’s my life without your love?

Songwriters: George Harrison

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